In November, after learning that my brother, Joel, had advanced lung cancer, I wrote this reflection. In early February, I read it at his memorial service. In honor of his birthday, I share here today.
JOEL
As I stop and Breathe,
I feel my grief arise.
Tears surface as I
Hold you in my heart.
The sadness takes my breath away.
I remember my childhood,
You, ten years older,
my protector brother.
I am moved by the memory
Of your tenderness, loyalty and love.
Fifty years of smoking
Has taken root in your lungs,
Blocking your airway,
Stealing your breath.
Death stands waiting to receive
Your tender, loving spirit.
Am I ready to let you go?
I choke on the sob of grief
Arising in my chest,
And allow the winds of sadness to shake me.
Slowly, I relax my breath
Releasing, Blessing, Receiving,
All that is to come.